9 hours (or more) / 24 hours = working
9 hours + working on what we like to do = most logical/feasible
9 hours + working on what we like to do = not common in life
9 hours + workingbutidontknowwhythehelliamdoingthis = depression/heartburn
9 hours + workingbutidontknowwhythehelliamdoingthis = as common as persiaran kewajipan’s 5.00 pm trafficjam
Figuring out what we like to do in life is relatively easy. They’re those things that keep us stay wide awake joyously late at night, while other sane beings drifted off to la-la land. It could be in term of knitting away pretty jumpers for you beau, or devouring episode after episode of National Geographic Specials on Egyptian Pyramids, or Googling over latest Myvi accessories at 3.00 a.m Monday night. Yet, making that something becomes our bread and butter for a living can’t be easy. Lack of guts, lack of will, lack of opportunity. And in my case, lack of understanding how the lack of it was affecting my whole life.
I’ve always love to serve for community. I have this silly notion for righteousness and justice and helping others and dislike for double standards and superficiality. I was that student who’d rather accompany her sick junior to the hospital one hour drive away at 12.00 at midnite than studying for next week’s SPM trial. I am still that person, though a bit more wary now after a series of manipulations by some who use my eagerness (or is it naivety?) to help and care as a way to get them out of situations.
2 years working in corporate offices, involving in multi-millions worth of projects, earning more than average my peers made, I found myself dragging my feet to work everyday. I was doing design - a thing I love the most….but the passion just wasn’t there. That passionate obsession I used to have for my degree projects simmered into thin air. I was in a position many would love to take over. Yet I couldn’t feel proud of my work, of myself. In total opposite, it was suffocating me, dooming my existence into a Devoted Friendster Updater and unproductive human being who couldn’t be bothered to get up and smell the fresh air beyond my tiny cubicle.
I thought monetary factor is more than a valid sole reason for motivation. I was dead wrong.
My current post is nothing to shout about. No high-tech staff pass, no millionaire clients and colleagues within 5000mm radius, no potential of earning enough to buy me a sweet ride, no dealing with high profile big-shots (hmm.. scratch the last one out). Yet, it is here that I finally gain back that energetic spirit and exciting feeling that energized through my veins, pumping up my adrenaline, keeping me on my feet all day long. I finally feel like I’m doing something meaningful, servicing the community regardless of their backgrounds - the way I define my personal job satisfaction.
Along the way though, I’ve met many people who couldn’t be bothered to smell the air, who braces the 9 hours period as nothing more than a mundane obligation with no passionate pride whatsoever in what they’re doing. That’s the reason why I’m writing this. Because I’ve been in that place before, and the only way out of it is to analyze back, is this what you really want to do? And is this what you are willing to do for the rest of your life? Are you putting into use all your potential? Do you feel like you are doing something worthwhile?
I’ve been there, and I’ve asked myself these questions. And thankfully I found a way out, or rather, God gives me an opportunity to find that thing that’s working for me. That thing that keeps me keeping on, that makes me feel worthwhile, that defines my soul. And 9 hours (or more) daily doing something like that is worth dedicating my whole life for.
