p r etty+d e c e n t+obsess i o n

Last three nights I had this dream, in which my next door neighbor smiled at me. Her smile was overwhelming, and brought tears to my eyes. She’s smiling because she just found out she was pregnant, and it was a baby boy. Last two nights I had a similar dream, but my neighbor was laughing. Her baby boy was 6 today she said, and he was learning how to read.  He was a fast learner, and pretty soon he could spell out momma and papa.

Last night I had another dream, and my next door neighbor was crying with sheer joy. Her baby boy was 17, and just got his SPM result. He got ten distinctions, and said to her mom, ‘I am going to make you proud. I am going to be a doctor, and cured the world.’ Tonight I had a dream again, and my neighbor is crying. But oh my, she was crying in agony; tears were streaming down her pale, wrinkly face. I asked why she was crying, and she pointed to a newly built grave. It was her son’s. ‘He didn’t make it to be a doctor,’ she said. ‘He died in an accident, riding his new bike I brought as a present for his admittance to UM. He died before me. Now I have nothing to live for.’

Tomorrow I’ll have a similar dream, and I know my next door neighbor will not be smiling again. But I promised myself, I will tell her that love is a gift from Allah, and one day He will take it back. So appreciate all there is around you now, and must never forget we are here because of him, and will eventually met Him again. So dry out your tears, and smile to Him, say your prayer and love Him unconditionally, because He deserved it more than any human do.

We first heard of war in Kosovo during our forth form in 1998. And in the midst of 1999, a friend, Nadd had this brilliant idea of setting up a fund for the Kosovo Muslim refugee, which we brought up to our MPP advisor, Miss Hyree.

We called it Kosovo Fund Club. After that we sort of cracked our head looking for ideas to bring up money, to donate to a NGO going to the war-stricken area. Somehow, we came up with this idea of skipping our breakfast, lunch and tea time and just have our dinner.

Yes, that was the day when the whole 300-somethings students of MRSMKT fast themselves. We were pretty nervous at first, since we have to handle the fast-breaking ceremony, from menu, arranging the trays to cleaning up afterwards. Thank God there were many eager hands helping out. The fasting idea was a bomb. All in all, I think we’ve gathered almost three thousands, safe in the hands of our treasurer, Alimukhti.

Our batch wasn’t there when our juniors handed out the money to MERCY Malaysia. I was in matriculation at Pilah when Miss Hyree called up my mom to ask me to come. She was pretty sad we couldn’t make it, but I don’t mind. We didn’t do it so that our face could be seen in Berita Harian, we did it because we sincerely hope it would mean something to someone, a brother or a sister within the same religion.

I soon forgot about the Fund. In 2001, I was a freshie in UPM when my best friend and I went to this function; seeing a familiar figure, Dr Jemilah Mahmood, the president of MERCY M’sia taken up the podium, speaking about MERCY’s work all over grief-stricken areas around the world.

She spoke about her experience in Kosovo and spoke about the numerous helps she got from within our country. And she told a story she can’t forget, a lesson in the spirit of giving; in which students from a full boarding school in Terengganu willing to forego a day without eating by fasting themselves and donating the money they saved to MERCY. And how the money was then used to help gave medical supplies to those who direly needed them in Kosovo.

She was visibly touched by the school’s gesture. I think it is safe to say we all know which school she was referring to. And to whom she was referring to. The reason why I write this story is to tell every one from my KT days that a small token like that, in which we wouldn’t give a second thought to, really does mean something to someone else, perhaps saved a few lives.

I’m sure many of you has forgotten the Fund, but let us not forget, that with the spirit of giving, even a bit, it could make a change in other’s life. So never stop giving out, even when you have little to offer.

5 more minutes to lunch..you glanced at your watch, and groan for how-many-times at the slowness these days become. You stuck with your chores, billions of them, and your boss constantly nagged at you bout the detail drawing he told you to submit ten days ago.. ‘come on,’ you say.. ‘give me a break. Ive been working 12 hours per day with no increment’ and the only OT payment you’ve received is in a form of nasi goreng kampung your boss endearingly “treat” you cause you haven’t stop working on that tender document from 3 o’clock that you missed your dinner.

Your brain jammed, your back hurts like hell, and your eyes are losing its sight. Not to mention the new contact lenses your wear cause the Watson guy said it’s cheaper are giving you eye sore and a headache. Your stomach grumble, your head grumble, even your toes grumble. Even if 5 more minutes is lunch time, you haven’t got time to take a forty winks to ease the pain cause by 2 o’clock you have to be on site with the contractors, half an hour away from your office…so you only manage to grab a slice of that gardenia bread which you’re not even sure still not reaching it’s due date..before hitting the surau and pay your dues to Him, The Almighty.

Sure, this is only a nightmare you’ll have only and if only you become a landscape architect. And that is what I’m going to be. If the firms will take me in that is. And even though I know there’s many things to pay to be good at this job, I think I’m gonna do it. Because I love it so much and when you love something, you swallow the bitter part with a pinch of salt, and savor it’s sweetness. Which is what I am going to do. Which is what you are going to do too, my dear friend. Whatever it is that you find enjoyable, or giving a sense of completeness to you, don’t be afraid of the hard works to get it. As long as you love it, it will be worthwhile, insyaAllah.